Fool's paradise.

Every so often I find something that just speaks to me. It taps into my raw emotions and makes me sit within the confines of my mind, thinking to myself, "man, that's some real shit." It has been a long time since I've cried over...anything, really. I think the most significant time I cried was my final speech as president of PUSO in 2004. I gave everything to that organization and saw the culmination of four years of effort come to an end. It's been a while since I have felt like that... Well the next few lines got me thinking again.

A says this:

"prior to this week, during random nights i would find myself suddenly obsessed with how many myspace friends we had, or how many hits my website was getting, or how many gigs we had booked, or how much money i had in my bank account. i've never liked numbers, and it's not just because i suck at math. really, numbers can be evil and make you forget everything that you value. i'd sit and lament in front of the computer screen, mostly frustrated with myself for being so superficial (so mortal?). and then i'd ask myself--if it's really about the "how much" and "how many"--then really. how many? how many hits, or bookings, or dollars until i'm satisfied? i asked myself that question again today, as i watched the plays on our page shoot up by the minute. and the fact is, things that don't matter will never be enough."

They never are.