My rat race.

I'm in a strange mood. Things haven't been going my way lately and I feel like I'm lacking in certain areas. Being back on the job hunt is difficult but it's amplified when I choose to stay in this crazy competitive advertising industry. Like the saying goes, it's all about who you know. As a born networker, I haven't had much problems lining up some key interviews...but there's always the reassuring let-down. "Your interview went extremely well, but..." or "We decided to go with someone slightly more qualified...."

It sucks to look for a job in New York. For me the rat race is getting worse as the days go by...which is why I am counting down the days until I move out of New York. Everyday I wake up with a feeling of dread and that is no way to live. Work, although they've given me a break, is slowly chipping away at my soul. And I find myself laughing when I ask myself, "I went to college for this?"

I'm not meant to be confined to cubicle world. I've said that my ambition may sometime outweighs my ability....and I'm starting to believe it. This brick wall I've hit is extending to the other aspects of my life. Family life is shaky...if it's not one thing, it's another. Social life, great as it is...I need to stop with binge drinking 3 times a weekend. Is there really a reason that justifies me being an ass? Could I be taking the stress out on a bottle? I'm in a tough place.

BUT...who am I to complain? I live in a New York City condo that I am slowly furnishing. I have my health. The family is alright most days. My friends have my back. School applications are being written and re-written.

One thing is for sure though...I need to get me a new job that won't make me feel like the dumps everyday.