"Keepin' it riiiiill, in Mont-riiiiiill."

I need to find that list where I can add my name to liver recipients because if I keep going the way I'm going...I'm going to need a new liver.

In a sentence, Montreal was amazing. The most European city in Canada received five rowdy Americans with open arms. This trip has probably set off a twice yearly routine of getting out of the country and going off to get wild in countless foreign locales.

Day 1.

Customs.

I wasn't there for day one because I couldn't get that day off from work. From what the fellas have told me, they definitely hit the ground running when they crossed the border. A day-long car ride from New York City wasn't enough to tire them out. They checked into the Delta Montreal and explored the...um..."Canadian Ballet" scene. Ahem...ya smell me on that one? After enough exploring the guys ventured out into the nightlife and hit the happy hours found on Sainte-Catherine and Mont-Royale.

Funniest of the night: Kenny at Tokyo Bar trying to listen...
He - (yelling) "So are you from Toronto like your friend over there?"
She - "No, I'm from Ottawa."
He - "WHAT?"
She - "OTTAWA?"
He - "Oh, so you're from Taiwan?"

Day 2.

The guys check out of Delta Montreal and check into my reservation at LeCentre Sheraton for the rest of the trip. The hotel was literally in the center of the city, walking distance to everywhere we wanted to go. I swear the reason other countries hate Americans so much is because of the crap we were pulling all weekend As I arrived at the airport that night, the fellas come pick me up in a Infiniti G35 blasting Junior M.A.F.I.A. all through arrivals...."THERE HE IIISSS". I wonder what the people waiting for their rides thought of all this.

After a quick change and a fresh razor shape-up courtesy of Vince, we rolled out and hit up Le Boom, which was down the street from the Sheraton. The usual drinks, dancing and girls, very much like New York clubs. I had issues with the DJ, but after about 18 shots, I pretty much just took the music as it came.

Funniest of the night: Guys on the prowl...
How Marty started making out with this blond in the middle of the street, I don't know. Then Vince goes and makes out with her other blonde friend. We turn around 2 minutes later, and they've switched blondes. At the same time Kenny approaches two very attractive girls..."Umm, I don't mean to racial profile, but where's the Asian party at tonight?" She directed us clueless Americans to a gay bar.

Day 3.

Walking along Sainte-Catherine.

Sightseeing and shopping, of course, when we decided to peel ourselves out of bed and greet the day. After absorbing all the culture we head back to the hotel and hit the pool, sauna and hot tub. Which was much needed after the previous night on top of all the walking we did in the city.

Dinner that night was to ring in my 24th. By the time midnight rolled around, I'd be one year older. So what better way to do that is go have an amazing steak dinner. Filet mignon, crab cakes, creme brulee and a Pinot Noir to wash it all down.

Marty, after about the 12th Belvedere and Tonic. A tad red. Just a tad.

After dinner we head over to a rooftop club called 737. Music was much better, the crowd was a bit more upscale than the previous night. I realize that listening to girls speak French is such a turn-on....it's funny because the girl I met was from Toronto. Shots of Tequila at midnight...teaching the French-Canadians to dance to Suavemente... After that, we were approached by some people, "Hey, weren't you guys at Le Boom last night, I remember because everyone saw you guys."

We were gassed after that. Actually, we're still gassed.

Funniest of the night: The angry Samoan and the Marty-Party.
LJ sweating after the first glass of Pinot Noir. He refused to take off his blazer and was drenched by the end of dinner. All it took to fix that was some Pepto Bismol. Hmmm.

Marty is the real-life version of Frank the Tank. No explanation needed.

Day 4.

The rain washed out our rafting plans. So we decide to go to Casino Montreal. I didn't know I could lose money that fast. I don't even lose like that in Atlantic City. After all the non-winning, I decided to schedule a massage before another steak dinner. I fell asleep on the table and almost missed meeting the guys for the reservation.

Liquid Lunch.

Since it was our last night in the city, we figured we'd start off nice and mellow by heading to a cigar bar and throwing back a few Belvedere and Tonics. So much for quitting smoking...the cuban cigar I had just did me in. Another stop by the "Canadian Ballet" and the night was over.

Birthday with some Cubans.

Funniest of the night: Chuck Norris.
Marty doing roundhouse kicks and making a scene. Again. There's video of this.

Day 5.

Since rafting was pushed back one day, we planned to check out and head to the river. But after a rough night before we cancelled the whole rafting deal and just did some last minute sight-seeing and souveneir shopping.

I finally got to spend my birthday away from home. Something different than what I've done the past few years...and it was pure fun. A huge thanks to the fellas for planning out what to do and even just trekking it up north to help me celebrate. I was a little down on myself the past few weeks and this trip was exactly what I needed to get back to my senses and re-group to figure out what my life really should be about.

24. I'm in my mid-twenties. It seems unreal.

For more pics, www.vincinati.com/montreal.